How he learned to write articles on habré

Bob again looked at the screen of his laptop. He didn't want to refresh the page. Although, obviously, it had to update. Again. For the last time. Now he doesn't have to update it. F5.
56.6. Fell by 1. Damn. Although, minus one for four hours is not a big problem, but still it was unpleasant.

The gray-blue ball of thread (or wire, does not matter), looked at the reddened programmers ' eyes. He was simultaneously attractive and repulsive. This tangle was promised fame and knowledge, but at the same time, could lead to shame.

Not so long ago, a few hours ago, because of a witty comment Bob lost 12 units. Disgusting. It was necessary to take revenge. It's just been a matter of honor. It is necessary to take revenge. Alt+Tab.

2010 ward obligingly opened before Bob that the billet of the article, which was to bring him fame. This article was supposed to perepoloshit the same ball of yarn and tell the world of something great.
The problem was that at the moment, the article contained two bytes. \r\n. Nothing more was written.

The last 20 hours Bob has spent in front of a computer. Perhaps he slept, though he didn't remember. A couple of times he found himself lying on the keyboard. The mood was otvratitelnoe. All of life as a wedge has converged on the ball. In the head did not climb any good lines. Everything was just the scribe as bad.
It back through Ctrl+Tab for tabs. Bash — nothing new or interesting. THG — complete nonsense of the new products in Russia will be God forbid that in a few years. ... Art — Yes, there is nothing to talk about. Gmail is a new app with a dozen indifferent emails from Microsoft and similar companies. Habr — again. Again, this tangle, which did not allow him to live a normal life. He began to think, maybe he is crazy? Maybe he shouldn't...

Very sharply: *Beep*, and then smoothly and slowly *Uggggggggg...*

Android on the table came to life. Bob looked at his beloved pet. The standard firmware was phospholane bells and whistles that Bob sawed himself. Sawed long and hard, until he turned the phone in the likeness of R2D2. Automatically start the crown of creation — Artoo Server Guard. Smoothly opened the map of the building (the effect was worth the Bob two weeks of reading manuals and practice in Java) and it blinks a red dot.

R28->Dwn->ICMP=false->UPS=true

Informative statements his guard Bob separately proud. One line is the most important information about something terrible. + Looks stylish. Sealed all under some kind of a cross between old consoles and C++.
Dying on the keyboard trying to pump non-existent skills stopped at the same moment. Bob jumped sharply to the cupboard and pulled from it a belt with all required tools. The program has already left a request for a taxi at one of the sites. While he wore the jacket, the Android screen again came to life.

To accept the challenge.

— Yes, the girl ordered. Yeah. Yes, as usual. No, just economy plus. Yes, they are.
So, it's settled. Now would be a taxi to a server. Now you have to understand what happened in the 28 node. The program diligently unloaded the logs, and showed the status of other nodes. 28 fell from overheating. 29 started to heat up in earnest. The temperature at 27 was slightly above normal.
Fortunately, the engineering mind of Basil was not long in coming, and immediately gave the answer — it's just overheating from the fact that the next babanusa incorrectly cleared in the server. Certainly, when he gets to the scene, he sees Aspermy server, which all coolers will chew the cloth of a MOP.
Hell, it will be necessary to achieve resolution on the entry ban to the territory server for staff. In servenay have to get out of admin. It is desirable that this admin has been serving some the flagship and could clearly and gently scrub all that is possible under the "white glove".
28->Fail->36B-Online

That's good. Thirty-sixth gladly took upon himself all the functions of the victim. Uptime is still 100%. But this does not mean that this early in the morning (by the way, the time? Three nights? Holy shit!) it is not necessary to return back to the lost soldier.

SMS: Your taxi waiting for you at the first entrance.

Right.

When Bob stepped out of the Elevator — it could not learn. Eye already why it was not red. Disappeared dull appearance. Belt with various tools and a jacket with lots of pockets and unloading gave the young man a spacecraft engineer from the future who can move in space rashot gravitsapu to FTL.

— Hello!

— Good night.

— Can you, please, hurry up, hurry up.

— Could be faster. Moscow all our.

— Good.

Where are you so hurry? Usually it only in airport people walk.

— No, I have a work emergency.

— Hoh! I suppose the chief — beast, what, three nights to work out. Although, you know, we have...

The story of the taxi driver Bob fell on deaf ears. Only chimed at the right moments and said that he fully understands what he is saying his nightly companion. The taxi driver was very happy with the interlocutor. Not often, its so good listening to, so he poured out his soul to the fullest. All of 20 minutes, while the grey Nissan ripped through the deserted streets of Moscow at night.

Bob looked at the buildings around him and looked each of them something interesting and unobtrusive. It always allowed him to train his attention and led him to a working state.
Actually Moscow is not a very nice city. No, nothing you want to say, the city is beautiful — but it was too high. Not an example of some Redmond. From all sides you look six or nine masses, which are sometimes interspersed higher of the Stalinist skyscrapers. Not that it's fatal, but on this day, whether Moscow is one storey, as America Ilf and Petrov, Bob wouldn't be in trouble. Or rather, not mess. And God knows what.

Whether Moscow is one storey, Bob would be and would have noticed that the sky lost a star. She just vanished with a reddish-black sky of Moscow. Or rather, not vanished, and was quite black dot. This point is beginning to expand rapidly. Soon, just above the Nissan was not two stars. Surely it would be noticeable to anyone else, except Bob, but that's so happened that at that moment, no one presumed to raise his eyes to heaven. The radar was silent too. And it wasn't particularly surprising. Because anti-radar coating of the object exceeds all that was known on this planet.

Three, five, ten, twenty! One by one, the stars just sank into the yawning blackness of the drive, suddenly stretched over a Nissan. Now, almost half of the sky became black. But unfortunately Bob did not notice. He noticed the fact that the dove flew to the window of the house opposite. He noticed the fact that someone was watching TV. He noticed a lot of interesting things in those buildings, he was looking at. It is a pity that the sky can look not possible.

The car arrived to the destination.

Bob came out, giving the driver 600 rubles. He said goodbye to the unknown, whose face shone with pleasure. No wonder, he just poured my heart out for the first time in the last 20 years. Carrier stared in the direction of the outgoing person. After that, he turned, opened the window and lit a cigarette.

Unknown owner Nissan noticed the fact that something goes wrong. But he could not understand what. Just where was some kind of error. It is a little strained, but overall, his mood was great, and he decided to dismiss the depressing thoughts is not clear what.

Bob was only thinking of the twenty-eighth. He didn't have time to look at the black sky.
In the server, as usual, not very light breeze emitted from industrial air conditioning, and cooling for all 64 Pets Basil to a temperature of 22 degrees. Pets this carefully resisted. Despite the fact that their covers were cold kremnivye their hearts were heated to higher temperatures.
Twenty-eighth silently blinked a yellow bulb. Bob was an engineer. He could find the problem for a couple of seconds. But, in this case, too much steam was not necessary. From the front of the server protruded a tuft of wool whiskers.

Barsik good defending from mice and rats that sometimes podrezali wire, though once in half a year he became the reason of falling of one of sixty-four.

Bob gently removed the piece from the cooling system, and pushed the server into the rack. He pulled conopco and the eerie hum of the fans, starting system, mingled with the General noise of the server.

28->Online->36B->SpareAwait->SparePendPool=12

Artoo Server Guard immediately reported the fact that the cluster continues to operate with full fault tolerance.

Yeah, too bad about the resistance knew only the Bob. After he was ridiculed at the Institute, after studiously ridiculed in each of his works, he stopped telling people that knows how to do a failsafe system. He remained silent, or said 98%. Even the fact that his cluster serving the Internet needs of large companies fell over the last 4 years, never managed to hide. He forged logs, gave a false report, that particular server was in down for a couple of hours. But his system never, under any circumstances did not fall.

He always wanted to convey to people the idea that though the ideals not attainable, but if you have 220 volts, you can get the computer to run without errors. He always knew that a computer is nothing without a man, and all of the error programs is just lazy developers. He knew that the artificial intelligence in full measure will never be implemented, until, till some great and crazy developer, I would not change my body into kremnivye chips. Unfortunately, it is human nature to fall into bad when he starts to think that he can't. Although man can do everything. This Bob knew exactly. And that's what...
A sharp squeak permeated the entire room. In ears rustled, as after the explosion. Each bone Vasya's body began to shake to the beat of some strange hesitation. It instantly threw up. He fell on the concrete floor server room. The room became much lighter. It seemed that every detail of the iron emits light, which every second became brighter.

Trying to spit his vomit, Bob looked up and realized that everything glows. Another wave of obscure fluctuations, severely hit in his body. At this moment in his head flashed only one thought: "God, help me to die quickly!", so strong was suffering. No, there was no pain, but a strange vibration felt terrible aversion to all things. The light became brighter and brighter. Eye was getting sore and at that moment, when they were just ready to burst, Bob passed out. If not for that — he would have died, and so painfully as did not die even a single person on this planet.

White. All white. All around just a monotone white. As a program loader in the Matrix. Bob tried to get up off the floor. Or whatever it was, because it was perfectly smooth and white. He did not succeed. Every bone in his body responded to the pain. Really nice, human pain, and not a vibrating nightmare. He pulled my phone from the case and turned it on.

Network no. 4:12 am.

Almost immediately Bob once again passed out.
When he realized he woke up, he was afraid to open my eyes. But to do this I had to. White. Everything is just white. He stood up. The pain's gone now, and only recalled himself, talked about how recently has suffered a whole body. He grabbed my phone — the battery ran down completely.

Bob realized that I need to do something, but have not yet figured out how to do it. He tried to go forward, while having experienced a strange feeling — as if you go and stand on the spot. Another couple faltering steps in white and his nose bumped into the white wall. No orientation in space or in time.
— Uwip

The sound resembled something from Half-life. It came from everywhere.

— Uwip

Certainly, this kind of warning system about something is seen as the spark of mind engineering mind.
After that, everywhere began to hear the sounds that represent something of a cross between the chirping of a Dolphin and connect at 2400 baud.

Brainwashing? Modem? What is this?

All this time Bob did not utter a sound. He was silent. He knew that the situation does not match pattern "Police! Rape!"

The modem was quiet.

— Uwip

Absolutely quiet, right in the middle of the whites, appeared in the doorway. Black. Bob was moved in the direction of the doorway, but stopped, completely stunned by.

These were two. Absolutely incredible creatures. Grey, tall, very skinny, as if their body was nothing but a spine and a pair of dice. These subtle and indistinct body, however, was supplemented with exoskeletons. They were elegant black rounded structure of the modules located on gray bodies. The modules were connected to each other by some wires that looked very organised.

One of the holes on the gray face opened and Bob once again heard the dial-delfinul melody.

Speech! They say modulation!

This awareness, however, is not prompted the VA to action. He just stood there dumbfounded and looked at the creatures.
Gray synchronously walked over to Bob, grabbed him by the arm and headed toward "the door." Then Bob fully felt all the charm of exoskeletons. Thin gray ruchenki, supplemented by an unknown device, kept his stranglehold. If he wanted to escape, he failed.
Black corridor quickly ended, and grey brought the Bob to the centre of the small room. Itself around Bob saw a lot of different devices that were placed at the "corners" of the room. Corners, of course did not exist, because the room was still pretty white, just the fact that it is in large quantity were not the white stuff, allowed to assume, where is the wall. One gray approached the panel and pressed a button. Second, hands folded on his chest, looked at Bob.

Then John decided that even wrong action is better than no action. Therefore, he rushed to the corner in which lay something like a rifle. The probability that it was a weapon — zero. The probability that Bob will be able to take advantage of — and even less. And that's the first thing a Sprinter is with all the dope slapped in the glass that separated him from various things in the warehouse. The glass was completely transparent. It became clear that in the drops of sweat and blood on an unknown matter.
Gray rushed for the fugitive, and then Bob realized that despite the fact that exoskeletons give their holders power, they do not contribute to speed. He looked at the floor and saw that in the place where he glared at the glass on the floor held a thin grey line. Bob noticed that this line is interrupted just a few steps away from him.

He rushed to invisible doors, holding hands in front of him, and "entered" the warehouse of confusing things. Even despite the fact that at the rate he was winning to escape he clearly failed. The room was closed. Long in such not run. He spun around, catching the hand aquarium with a strange yellow leeches-fish, and he crashed, falling to the floor. Yellow creature twitched in convulsions. In an attempt to save the falling object, Bob hooked on something else and it already seemed that the entire warehouse falls down on him. He slipped and fell on a white floor, straight into a pile of balls, ash, silver boxes, mucus and yellow fish-leeches.

Grey approached him. Before they had time to pick it up, Bob felt a strong pain in the ear. He was not able to grab the ear with your hands and get out what was causing the pain, because his hands were fixed with exoskeletons grey.

— Neobhodimo Mswati castlecove.
Bob thought it sounded like one of the gray only in the frantic pace of mumbled this phrase. He lifted his head, which ached with terrible pain.

— You upstill. He vzvesi.

The Babel fish? thought Bob, and again lost consciousness.

When he woke up, he felt with his hands to the iron grip of the exoskeletons. He lifted his head and looked around. Still the same white around. Room, the middle of which is a few chairs. Another grey, who wears the exoskeleton. And another one with a strange tube in his hands.

— Object SMI, three, sandcat.

Bob wanted to say something, but then he realized that the gray don't look at him. In the wall formed a doorway, and at the same time white room pierced a desperate child's cry.

— Noooo! Let me go! Release, creature! Bitches! Otpustite...

Crick moved to mourning, in which was heard only desperation. In walked another gray exoskeleton that led a boy of about 13 years. His face was as if, disheveled hair, a denim shirt was torn in the place where gray was holding him. Bob understood that the kid dislocated a couple of fingers of one hand were swollen and fingers were arched at an odd angle. The other arm bashed the guy in grey, although it gave no effect.

Bob just stood there and looked at the kid. He just didn't know what to do. He just could not imagine what to do. At school he was not taught how to behave in the thrall of the gray beings.
Boy, after unsuccessful attempts to beat his executioner, looked around, and looked at Vasya. Zaplacenou on his face appeared strange expression, which means only hope.

— Uncle, save me! They are killing me! Help!

Choking heart-rending cry of the boy again began to turn into crying.

— SMI, three, sandcat. High level of intelect, ingenerny pdht. Able to razrabotat the system interplanetary peremeny. Ustanoviti the system of kntrol.

— Spaceeee! — Struggling yelled the kid, when the gray with the tube began to approach him.

Bob did nothing. He just stood there. He cursed all the systems of all the formations because he has no idea how to behave in a similar situation. The science does not help. Psychology — Yes what there, to hell, psychology, nichrome will not help. He won't tell the kid to "Calm down and tell me what sexual concerns you delight more"! Here, according to Vasey, could help only of physics and chemistry. Something from the realm of Napalm. But Napalm was not at hand.

So he just stood and watched as gray held the pipe to the boy's head and pulled the "trigger". The room suddenly smelled of the swamp. The tube spat out a piece of translucent gelatinous mass of green, more like a slug, on the boy's head. The last heart-rending cry of "Nooo!" is gone. The boy fell silent. Lineabeta weight soaked in the boy's head. He looked at Vasya, his pupils were dilated. He just looked at Vasya. In the eyes of that a moment ago was full of horror, there was nothing he could see. Just the body. The person in this body was gone.

— System cntrs ustanovlena. Reset.

The boy was just gone. He issec out of the room. Ceased to be in it. It did not, in the truest sense of the word.

— Pdtverzhdaet reset. Object on plate, under the kntrol.

— KK.

— Object SMI, three, syndcate. — now all five grey faces with unseeing eyes stared at Bob.

— SMI, three, syndcate. High level of intelect, ingenerny pdht. Able to szdavat structuce system. Wiska opasnosti to other worlds. Pozvolyaet this planet to kontrolirovat other, MRA. Ustanoviti the system of kntrol.

Well, at least they think well of me. thought Bob. — I wish my bosses didn't appreciate. Well, Yes all right, that no one will appreciate. Whatever this Lizaveta creature, with such a drug I'm not really going to do something.
— Otma.

— Prchina?

In kntrol not ridetsya. Sticklen on cmputer. Believe khanam that preheat nshi company in place. NN able to acctivate CBE Minnie. NN sobraetsja to szdavat otsustavad systems. Bspace.

Is reset.

Everything was just white.

Bob woke up on his bed. Android. 6:12 am.

Holy crap! Dream the same thing!

Bob sat down on the bed and caught his breath.

— No, I wasn't there! I'm not silent! I'm generally talkative! Right now I am talking to myself. Then it was a dream.

Well, of course. UFOs, the beaten boy, brain slugs. Shitty sleep from constantly sitting at the computer in the Internet on only one site. Bob leaned back on the pillow and fell asleep.

Bob woke up on his bed. Android. 1:42 of the day.

He reached out and realized that all, in General good. He slept great. Despite the nightmare. Despite the...

Stop!

The idea!

He went to the window and looked at the bright sky. A real heaven on earth.

Means not able to defend their opinion? So I'm not bashing you ask? Well, hang in there, gray beasts!

He ran to the laptop and opened the word.
"How to create a failover system for Windows and Linux?"
"Some say that ideals are unattainable. My solution is also not ideal. If it hit a nuclear warhead, it won't work. But, I can guarantee that as long as the outlet is power and it is not interrupted more than eight hours — the proposed option will reliably operate. As proof, I can give you logs for the last four years, that the overall uptime was always equal to 100%"

He leaned back in his chair. When karma exceeded a hundred, he lost count. He knew that he shouldn't be afraid to give others your knowledge, since they got it. He knew that others have this knowledge now there.
Bob inspected my room, and stroked behind the ear cat Rumika, which, although was afraid of mice, but the server's hair didn't.

So here, Rumik! It's all about you! Want to write a good article — write.

Bob pulled on the chair and once again patted the pet's ear.

— The filosovstvovat — it would be better to eat gave. — said the cat, and watched as his master fell off the chair.

Babel fish live a very long time.

Article based on information from habrahabr.ru