Where is the logic? Learning to think systematically. Part 1

I Introduction

the Athlete enjoys his physical power, loves exercise, which play the role of his muscles, and the analyst prefers brain activity, which enables him to study. He delight even the most ordinary cases of the opportunity to apply their skills.

Edgar Allan PoE

For people actively conquering their place in society, help now available, a sufficient amount of literature on oratory, negotiation, leadership, etc. But the lion's share of these works have in common is that they all, the authors taught their chosen methods of human relations techniques to influence people, etc. This is reminiscent of the recipes from the cookbook: "measure out half a Cup of theory, season with a pinch of logic, mix with boldness to taste ... serve yourself better slightly warmed".

I don't want to impose upon You any ready-made recipes for building relationships. On the contrary, as a professional it analyst, I want to encourage yourself to actively and skillfully analyze, Shine the light, to compare and try on the tooth surrounding the events that affect your relationship with the human race. And based on this analysis, by consciously build their model and strategy of behavior in society. Perhaps someone, this course will help looking on TV talk shows, not to shout it to the participants on the screen unpleasant truth about them, reasonably and calmly to correct their judgments.

And for that, I suggest You to join me in this article, to speculate on the theme of communication between people.

So there you go...

For any analysis, you need some point of reference. And since, in my opinion, a rod in the relations between people is mutual understanding, well at least for a successful relationship, then let's try to catch it for this topic.

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II Of understanding people

Dot optical sight on your forehead is also someone's point of view.
Lee Harvey Oswald.

we Often see situations where different people, discussing among themselves their attitude to some event or circumstance, give them a diametrically opposed assessment. Roughly speaking, the gray sheet one is called light and the other dark. Who in this case are your rights? If you evaluate meticulously and impartially — no one is right. But life, as usual, nobody wants, the public wants to understand: it is dark or light. Most people in opposition of demonstrate extreme perfectionism, half-measures in such situations are not perceived. From anyone who joins in this debate, most certainly waiting for a clear notation, which side is he on. But almost always there is still a chance to bring opposing camps to some common point of view.

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1. Install problems understanding

No coincidence in the reasoning we came to the thesis "point of view". Literally it means exploring the object from different angles, it is possible to characterize it differently. For example, if you look at the cylinder from above, it seems round, and if the side that rectangle. And I bet: some yell: this round, others twist a finger to his temple and say that this rectangle. In a broader sense "point of view" means choice for the evaluation of facts and phenomena, a certain range of properties, qualities, characteristics, and priorities. If, in the example above, with gray bed sheet, evaluate it as a material on which to sleep after a bath, it is likely dark, and if you throw on a dirty floor to walk in the shoes, rather light. Very succinct and elegant example cited Immanuel Kant, saying, "One, looking at the puddle, sees mud and the other is reflected in her star."

Let's see how still you can come close to the General consensus and people's understanding of each other. Now, we're not talking about taking one side of the point of view of the opponent, but about understanding why he took this stance. Maybe this will allow more tolerate his or her choice, will help to prevent confrontation and forced opponents to seek a reasonable solution that will satisfy everyone. Therefore in any dispute, it is important to understand why your opponent has developed a similar understanding of the problem and find out what information is missing from the parties, in order to more accurately assess the situation. In the course of such proceedings, can discover new details and facts, and most importantly — to change the view: as one of the and both opponents on the problem itself and actually how to resolve it.
From my personal experience system analyst, an even greater obstacle to the understanding of the discussed problems, is to attempt to evaluate a complex phenomenon, seeing it – as a monolith – a single and indivisible whole. A miscalculation in this case is that any phenomenon or event in essence is a composite composition more simple parts. Therefore, each part must be evaluated by itself. And these estimates can be very different between themselves with the General estimation of the composition as a whole. By passing the assessments themselves for each component should also take into account the weight of that ingredient in the overall ensemble. It is hard to disagree with mark Tullius Cicero, who said: "Arguments must be considered and weighed". For example, choosing a supermarket product, especially compelling, You first appreciate the whole composition, I mean packing. Stopping his gaze on one of them, You take it and the next step — look at the ingredients. And only assessing the quality of each of them, make your choice: put the package in his basket or back on the shelf. But the most interesting thing is that if You are refused a product, someone coming up to you can stop your choice on it, although he also carefully read the composition. This does not mean that he is stupid or blind, just a General evaluation of the product in General not coincide.

For better understanding we should consider the opposite effect, when people lamented the deterioration of some of their business positions, but does not even try to compare the facts and see the obvious that this loss occurs on the background of General improvement of the state of Affairs in General and in fact is the donation of a pawn for a positional total success. This is especially noticeable when the system changes in people's lives when people genuinely angry, how bad was he now and how good it was before. But with leading questions, it turns out that he is now, and the car was updated and in good repair afford – it is like taken for granted – for granted, but the fact that now there is a small inconvenience that's annoying.

As in the joke:

— How do you service a firefighter?
— Oh, everything is fine and fed and clothed and relaxed holiday and benefits for the whole family, But when the fire might quit!

After we fixed the main problems that I want to explore, the next step, let's find the factors that somehow affect them.

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2. Find out the factors influencing the understanding

In these arguments there is a “hitch” – so-called social filters. This phenomenon is manifested in the fact that most people under the influence of the nearest social circle perceive reality through the prism of the priorities of that environment. Any facts they consider to be trivial and not affecting their decision-making, and some important and meaningful.

For different social groups these priorities can be diametrically opposed and, therefore, the representatives of these groups are simply not able to perceive the arguments of the opponents, considering them insignificant. It is for this very reason, as usual, there is a problem "Fathers and children". Anyway, moving on the conveyor belt of life, the point of view of children comes close to the views of their parents, until recently, perceived in bayonets. And then, when it seemed much older and his sight children in conversation with their parents using their own (parents) rhetoric and judgment and wait if not applause, then certainly the approval of mom and dad, they again run into a wall of misunderstanding. Shock! "How so? you yesterday said that...". And later, life goes on and they will no longer mom, dad, grandparents and in General: "children should be brought up not in the rigor and order, and in infinite love, indulging their whims and pamper them in every way and in any case not to punish". The curtain! And for an encore: behind all of this chain of generations have propped up the new military ranks of children from their eternally rebellious worldview.
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3. Open the truth about the truth

Another important element affecting the quality of understanding, is the Veracity, of information used. This way it can be described as trustworthy communication. And as we have seen above, though each side greatly depends on many factors and the only reliable truth is that there is no truth! However, let's try to examine this concept from different points of view to objectively form their attitudes to it.

And we begin to understand, with consideration of extremes. As it will draw the border on both sides, and only then, start to take in the various shades and tones.
Not often, but there are people who in fellowship hit so hard "naked truth", causing confusion, embarrassment, conflict situations. In a society such behavior is, as usual, is perceived by the caller and is not considered tactful. Communication with such people try to avoid, although in most cases they are impressed, and even demand, but in dosed quantities. Even mark TWAIN wrote: "Truth should serve as a coat serves, not to throw in the face like a wet towel." Therefore, communication with such people looks as exotic and only caused by the desire to use it as a show or for baiting his detractors. The niche for such behavior in the communication is very limited.

On the one hand, and on the other, You have probably encountered a situation when communication, lie is much easier than telling the truth. Well, like "hard to explain" or "to not commit follies" and the like. And it's for a good cause, and then lied on the little things, well, just a little, but it eventually tightens and becomes the norm. Gradually, the lie is revealed more and more, and you already look like something compassionate and not perceive it seriously, even when you're telling the truth. As they say: "Spoon found, but osadochek remained". What may lead to this method an imaginary simplification of communication? Most often in such cases is the depreciation of man's place in the communication hierarchy.

But this is extreme, but in life relationships with certain people are based on truth and some lies. In both cases, this may be the best way of communication. In some situations, which method of communication is preferable to choose? Marcus Tullius Cicero said: "the Enemies always tell the truth, friends." That is one of the criteria for choosing the method of communication True/False, is the presence and depth of the controversy with an opponent.
It should be noted that all that we have considered under this section are still based on the assumption of some one – "Truth" Truth. But life is complicated: people always want to hear the truth and only the truth, but assuming that it is THEIR truth.

Besides, man is so constituted that he gets tired of hearing someone's truth, and he is forced to find a new truth, but their own, which gradually becomes its own official truth. Remember, as Viktor Tsoi: "I don't like being lied to, But the truth I'm too tired."
Over time most people build their own “convenient” for them the truth and hiding behind it as behind a screen, feel in communion with others comfortable and confident. Such decorations may be several, only manage to change them depending on the situation and the main thing is not to be confused to what time, what's to hide behind. But time flows and everything changes, and gradually, even the most comprehensive facade covers have not all places and people are not noticing this, looks at least funny. Even more stupid a person can look, who is this "Guise of truth," borrowed from others and only skimmed through the press release casually. Such a screen may be: party discipline, religious teachings, corporate code, etc, from time To time – these kata even work until you meet a really strong opponent. The more stereotyped views expressed people, so it is less interesting for discussion and communication.
Another reason for the appearance of "half-truths" noted Fyodor Dostoevsky. In the novel "Demons", he wrote: "...the real truth is always implausible... to make the truth more plausible, it is imperative to mix with her lies. People always did". Embellish the truth "special effects" are always tempting and this truth, unfortunately, much more demanded by society. It becomes a science and a good business with a professional approach.

But perhaps the most significant cause of distortion of the truth is the fact that much it can only truly self-sufficient and strong person. And most people are afraid of her, though makes them more vulnerable. Therefore, the vast majority of needs in the deception, and began to be people who withheld the truth from You, only are your accomplices in this matter.

Now that we've fixed the problems and held their initial examination, it is necessary to formulate the goal we want to achieve as a result of our research. It is important not to err and go astray. That is, the achievement of the goal should bring us some tangible benefits in solving of the mentioned problems.

There's an entire section of management — goal setting, read more about this topic, it is better to read in the primary sources.

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4. Define the objectives of the study

To solve all these above-mentioned difficulties is not fully possible, due to the complexity of human nature, community, various conditions influencing the formation of world social groups, etc. But to minimize the problems. To do this: first, the desire of opponents to meet each other, and secondly a knowledge of certain principles of system analysis, allowing to decompose a complex problem into more simple chain, to look at events and phenomena under different angles, to simulate situations, etc. That these issues are addressed, we bring to your attention the article.

That would not miss to study, take aim at the bigger target, and then, as the setting of benchmarks to achieve, fix your fly. So, let us declare the mission of our research: "to learn how best to communicate with other people based on their interests." You might ask how this goal combined with all of the concerns that we have indicated above? Explain. It is important to learn to manage relationships with people, and this does not necessarily mean to force the opposing party to hear and understand each other. For example, when I watch the various talk shows I have a feeling that the presenter clearly imagine the problem as a whole, but he is in no hurry to opponents also came to a common vision – after all, this show will end. So it governs communication, then carefully separating the perspective and deepening the lack of understanding of different groups, it clarifies some points, bringing together their "the Show must go on!". Therefore, I note that it is important not only to be able to control relationships, but also to determine how to use them to manipulate You and, if necessary, to counteract it or use for their own purposes.

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5. I like the results

In order to further conveniently use the results obtained in the course of the study, it is necessary to do the distillation, concentrate our discussion.

Output 1: in order to reach Consensus in dealing with people, you must be able to understand their point of view and its motivation. And to be able to convey to them my point of view.

terminal 2: to Give the most accurate assessment of complex phenomena and events, only expanding them into more simple components and assess each one individually, but determining the significance of this assessment for the phenomenon as a whole.

Output 3: Approach the problems just by looking at it from different points of view. And this contributes to the participation in the discussion of different people with different opinions, preferably grounded.
Output 4: Reality, as perceived by people is determined by what they believe true and correct. Therefore, the "Truth" of the individual is formed only of the facts he likes.

terminal 5: In a long term relationship, be aware that over time, Your view may change. Can also change the Outlook of people around You.

Output 6 To communicate with different people in different situations, you should be able to choose the degree of trust relationship.

Part 2 can be found by clicking on the link

Article based on information from habrahabr.ru